April 5, one day more…..
Today is my birthday. Sigh. Normally I do not get overly excited about my birthdays. I really haven’t since I was in high school. I enjoy when other people celebrate theirs, but for some reason I have always been more introspective and alone on my birthdays. I do not dislike them, I just tend to want to quietly observe. But of course, one has to allow others in their life the obligatory “you’re OLDER” remarks and jokes which get more frequent and less funny the older you get. Oh well.
However, there is much about this birthday that seems special to me. Very few of my friends know the extent of the hardship and challenges that I have faced over the past few years. I have shared bits and pieces with a few, but only to the extent that I am able to give a brief description when they ask “WHAT have you been up to?” But even in those short conversations, I am buoyed by how people just want to know that I am “ok now.”
This year I have realized even more how very blessed I am. I have much to be grateful for. Since moving here to NC, I rededicated myself to writing and today, on my birthday, I get the preview copy of my first book. It’s personally overwhelming, and it IS a watershed moment for me and a confirmation that when we commit ourselves to being authentic, the angels are able to show off and the universe lines things up in such a way that we can relax into the flow as long as we exercise that faith.
My family has proven over and over again that, for whatever reason, our souls who chose this family into which we incarnated, would support each other even though there is much we do not understand about each other. We support each other despite differences, despite rough history, despite petty disagreements. One thing my family has consistently done is show they care to the absolute best of their capacity.
Also, I am reminded that so many people I have been privileged to meet, are worthy of so much affection and admiration. Many I “chat” with through social media have seen me at my worst and yet have the best things to say to me. Truly rich indeed am I in friendship. Though my phone may not ring as often as it used to, and though I do not get to meet at Starbucks as often as I would like, my heart does lift when I catch glimpses into the lives of so many that I hold dear. And I am thankful. And yes, I am older.