When I was a young boy, I guess I was as inquisitive as any normal child, and especially so when it came to the “why” of things or the mystery surrounding anything regarding nature.
Once, I was told that clouds actually came from the large smoke stacks of the paper mills we would see on trips to West Virginia from either Florida or North Carolina. And it seemed plausible considering the huge, fluffy, white smoke that sometimes came out against a bright, blue sky. Of course, even without the internet, it didn’t take long for me to pay attention to the weatherman and to use our Encyclopedia to look up clouds, and what forms them. Also, oddly enough I was told once that the seeds on the stalk of Bahia grass were actually baby mosquitoes, and that is where they came from. This was information shared by someone who was older than I am, and now I am unsure if they KNEW they were trying to BS me or if it was simply a slightly older peer who also happened to have believed it. Again, didn’t take long to really find out that it was NOT the truth. Not even plausible.
But today, while out walking the dogs, I happened upon a patch of un-mowed Bahia grass that was heavily populated by the stalks at the seed stage. And the FIRST thing I thought of- was mosquitoes. Something so innocuous given as information in my youth, that MAYBE I believed for a split second, was rooted in my mind and in my memory. Still there. Still taking up space. Still occupying a slight, small sliver of my attention when prompted.
Now imagine for a moment that it wasn’t just some random non-fact, some throwaway bit of information. Imagine it was being told you are unattractive, or unworthy. Or that you are “wrong” or “stupid” or any other descriptive that we believed for longer. No matter how much we may have “gotten over” something, or chosen a different belief pattern through hard work and introspection if it occupied a small part of our sense of self and it is not completely healed, then a small jolt, a casual statement, an off-hand remark- any small thing can trigger that memory to come back, even without conscious effort.
So be diligent. If you feel something unpleasant, don’t necessarily “fight it” or try and dismiss it. Let it happen, investigate it, treat that old wound with love, and allow it to heal even further. Look for reinforcements in the things you KNOW to be true today. The things that matter. The hard-won truths about ourselves. Ultimately, the truth needs no defense, but it can use a little love and gratitude.
