Monday, January 24, 2011

opening up my heart

"Brian, hey its Tim.  Listen, I just wanted to let you know that Zach passed away this past weekend."
"WHAT?"  I was floored.  "What happened?"
Tim's voice was cracking and obviously even making the call was difficult.  He wasn't able to carry on the conversation very long.
"I know it has been a long time since you guys spoke, but Zach has been sick for about a year and he took a turn for the worse.  He went into the hospital and was gone just a day or so later."
My mind was blank.  Zach and I had been friends for several years and really only saw each other on random social occasions but we always got along like we had been friends all of our lives.  I even introduced him to the love of his life, which they always thanked me for.
"Zach did ask me to make sure I gave you a call and let you know.  I really need to go.  The memorial service will be actually in Virginia.  Do know that we always appreciated your friendship."

Thats how i learned about the passing of a friend.  I guess it's never easy.  I don't know why its on my mind now, but I would like to share something I wrote just after this phone call so many years ago.  I do turn to writing when I need to process emotion.  I always wished I had learned to journal on a daily basis.  But I do suggest writing your feelings whenever you can.  Namastè.

Life of a Friend

Please hold my hand as you leave
before the darkness, before the light
tell me with your eyes that this is how it must be
tell me there is no further need of fight

I could not have been there then
when time for you was all brand new
as you came walking into this world as from an angel
walking a path that only love knew

I may still need you every once in a while
I may think back on days gone so far away
days that still course through my system as much as life
helping to be exactly who I am each day

I could never help you more than I could
though all would have been given that I own
yet you go to a place where you may ever help me
in ways that only the innocent have shown

I can only hold your hand as you let go this world
and you take from your soul these garments you’ve worn
let me send you on this journey holding my love
and holding your hand as in Heaven you’re born

Brian Barnette