Making Change

When we have asked the Universe for change in our lives, it seems we have been conditioned to expect something that is largely uncomfortable. It may be a cliche that has earned its reputation, but I don't think it's a forgone conclusion.  I was speaking to a friend and I recall a lecture from Marianne Williamson (based on the teachings of A Course in Miracles) is that maybe G-d would prefer we learn through joy and not through pain. But it may also be true that as we review our lives, sometimes the very formative situations WERE painful or uncomfortable, and we forget to honor the lessons that we were able to learn through a peaceful grace.

Still, once we sincerely ask for change and are brave enough to expect it, however it comes, we also must do the work necessary to allow it. I do not think it requires "strain" as an inevitability, but by work, I mean the diligence necessary to keep our own minds from seeking to go backward. Once we ask for grace, G-d doesn't need US to repeat the prayer over and over, but WE need to remind ourselves quite often that WE want the change and WE must clear the space required for it. 

I also loved a talk once given by Iyanla Vanzant that mentioned the expectation of results required by having faith. For example, if we prayed for a new home and it isn't manifesting as expected, she would say, "well, are you PACKED?" That means, are we ACTING on the agreement we have made with Source that once a sincere prayer is offered, then it shall be granted. THAT is faith in action. It is truly a rarity. 

And not everyone in your life will WANT you to change, or for your life or circumstances to change because it scares them. Will they be left behind, or even worse, will it present a mirror for them to realize that they have not made real the thousands of pleadings they have made for better circumstances in their own lives. They do not WANT you to be unhappy or unfulfilled its just a default position that "misery loves company."

Who I was ten years ago bears little resemblance to who I am now, unless I am with people (friends AND family) who would not choose to see me in my new state of self. And I have to be honest about how often I will allow myself to put on the mantle of the "me" I was in order to make them more comfortable. It's horrifying to know how willing I have been to do just that and how OFTEN. 

But I have said the prayer again. And I am making the room for the results. I would willingly bring everyone I love with me into the light that I wish to inhabit, but now I have also made a commitment that I will not go back to live in a shadow. There will be some temporary losses. But I am investing this change in my own self-worth. And every cent matters.